A Man and His Thoughts

The random thoughts of a common man

Yes, I Have Four Girls!

“You have FOUR girls?” This is the question that inevitably gets asked when the subject of my children comes up and quite often there is a “You poor thing!” that follows shortly after I laugh and answer yes. The truth is that I wouldn’t have it any other way. With little girls in the house Dad is always larger than life and as strong as the Incredible Hulk. I absolutely love that they truly believe that I can fix anything, whether it is a necklace, a toy, or the dining room window. Who do they run to when there is a spider? Dad, that’s who! When they are scared of the dark Dad is the best defense against the monsters lurking under the bed or crouching in the closet. To top it off there is nothing sweeter than hearing all four girls shout “Dad!” and come running when I walk in the door after working all day.

As much as I love them, I sometimes struggle with how to interact with them. As my wife would quickly tell you I am not an overly sensitive man and with four, actually five, females in the house this is not a good thing. I’m from the old school and believe that if there is a problem you either do something about it or you suck it up and deal with it, but that just doesn’t fly around this house. So I adjusted my approach to dealing with whatever the latest crisis arose: I listened and offered solutions or alternatives. BIG mistake! It is hard for me to train myself that all they need is for someone to listen to them complain, whine or cry. Sometimes they just need Dad’s big shoulders to lean on. Another problem I have is that as they get older I am not as affectionate, but I am working on that. I’ve never been a big hugger and when they reach a certain age, around 6, I tend to stop hugging them as often as I did when they were little. It’s not a conscious decision but it happens nonetheless. I tell them I love them every morning when I drop them off at school and every night before bed along with goodnight kisses but when it comes to hugs I could do better so I’ve made a concerted effort to try and hug each one at least once a day and then just make little reassuring gestures like a little pat on the top of the head as I walk by.

It can be difficult at times because each of them has their own interests and I would like to find one that each of us can share with each other. There are a few things such as camping and nature walks that we all love and share yet I find myself wishing and wanting them to enjoy some other things with me, i.e. sports! I grew up in an athletic family and played four sports in school and many others recreationally so I would love to share that with my girls. As it turns out, however, my oldest daughters could care less about sports. My four year old may have an interest in baseball/softball but only time will tell if it sticks. Sports are just something I am incredibly passionate about and would love to be able to share that passion with my girls. I was thinking about that a week ago when something happened that changed the way I view sharing these activities with them. I won tickets to the homecoming football game of the local University and due to the short notice and other commitments my friends couldn’t come with me. Instead I decided to take my oldest daughter, thinking this could be the perfect opportunity to get her excited about football. There is nothing quite like a stadium full of rowdy fans, the smell of baked pretzels and the sound of pads cracking on the gridiron. It didn’t take long before my hopes were then dashed when her excited “WHOA!” was not because of the football players but because of the cheerleaders. “Oh well.” I thought and decided if she had questions she would ask instead of me trying to fill her brain with football knowledge. About halfway through the 1st quarter I looked at her and realized that she was actually having fun and then it hit me: we were sharing an experience that we both loved but doing so in our own way. The fun wasn’t in both of loving football but both of us just being together. She loved the cheerleaders, the baton twirler, the dance team and the homecoming court while I enjoyed the game, the crowd, the bright fall day and the smile on my daughters face.

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This entry was posted on October 18, 2013 by in Kids, Observations.
Kristen Lamb

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